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Making Your Life Easier TM
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Insights on Living July 2004 issue This Insights on Living is dedicated in honor of a family friend, Patrick (Pat) Belle, who returned home to our loving Father on June 22, 2004. We remember Pat for his intelligence, smile, great sense of humor, dedication to family and friends and his love for life. I know our Father welcomes Pat into His loving arms and Pat is safe, free of pain and suffering and smiling upon us all. My family and I were on vacation and returned to hear about Pat going home. Although Pat was battling cancer, I never expected him to die. I know him as a strong man and believed he of all people could beat this disease. So, with a much saddened heart and tear filled eyes I bid my farewell for now. Peace and Love to you my friend until we meet again. Grief We usually think of grief when someone we love dies. We also grieve when a relationship with a friend, husband or wife, sister and brother ends. In all of these cases we are grieving the loss of the relationship. The ending of something we cherish, enjoy and love. This is why it is so hard for us. Just as we took part in the life of the relationship, we must also take part in its death, the separation, the longing to still be united and to experience the person as we once did. We grieve because we had a meaningful experience with the person and lost someone important to us. Taking part in the grieving process is a way of honoring this meaningful relationship. The years spent in building the relationship can not be undone over night. It takes time and we must give ourselves permission to experience the undoing and the separation through the grieving process. The grieving process is very personal. Here are some stages of grieving that may be helpful to understanding what we are feeling when we experience the loss of a relationship. And enable us to speak about how we are feeling. Speaking about what we are feeling initiates healing and moving forward in our life. Denial We are not seeing the loss of our relationship as reality. Things have changed yet we haven’t accepted this change. Sharing our feelings with others when we are ready is a way to bring this loss into reality. Find someone who is a good listener, who you trust and will allow you to share openly. Anger Our response to the loss of a relationship is usually “why did this have to happen”. It is not how I had planned it to be. Our anger can take many forms and be projected onto others. Getting support from loved ones, family, friends or colleagues helps us to heal the anger within us. Bargaining We may bargain with God to restore the lost relationship because we want things to be as they once were. Depression We may feel listless and tired as we grieve the loss of a relationship. We may cry for what seems like no reason or feel there is no purpose for life. Guilt may enter the picture by thinking the loss of a relationship is our fault because of something we did or didn’t do. We may feel as though we are being punished. We may have difficulty experiencing pleasure and joy even in doing the things we once were delighted to do. We may feel isolated and this is accompanied with a desire to withdrawal from social events. Acceptance We realize that life must go on. We begin to accept the reality of our lost relationship. Our thoughts about this loss are less intense and less frequent. We regain our energy and begin to feel more like ourselves. Hope We do reach a place where remembering the lost relationship becomes less painful and we look forward to the wonderful opportunities that lie ahead.
God comforts the brokenhearted. (1) (1) Psalm 34:18 Peace and Love, Barbara
The coaching experience What is going on in your life that you would like to make easier? There is an easier way. Let me work with you to create it.
My clients have benefited from their coaching experience with me in many ways and in many different areas of their life. I know you will too. E-mail or call me to talk more about this great opportunity. Tel: 201-261-2990 E-mail: info@bamcoaching.com
Christian Community A Christian Living Community - a virtual community for people who are interested in living according to Christian morals and values. Direct Web Link to A Christian Living Community: http://dbc382.cvcommunity.com
Living and honoring Christian morals and values is challenging in today’s world. I have created a virtual community where people who are interested in facing this challenge can find encouragement and support.
Whether your challenge is in raising your children, “office” politics (this is found anywhere two or more are gathered) or with business dealings, to name a few, we can gather via teleconferencing for meetings, have discussions in the member's forum and communicate via e-mail to support each other in being true to our Christian teachings.
Go to the http://dbc382.cvcommunity.com to join and we can work together to develop our discussions and meeting schedule.
Please forward this information to your friends and family.
Interested in being added to the distribution list of this E- Letter? Send me an E-mail and I will add you to the list. I honor your privacy and keep your E-mail address private. E-mail: Insights@bamcoaching.com
Copyright © 2004 BAM! Coaching. Permission to distribute this material via email, or individual copies, is automatically granted on the condition it will be used for non-commercial purposes and will not be sold. To reproduce "Insights on Living" in any other format, including Internet websites, written permission is needed from Barbara Monahan.
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Copyright © 2004 BAM! Coaching, LLC. All Rights Reserved |
BAM! Coaching, LLC.
